I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
