who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
