I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize