Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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