If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
