At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
