My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
