she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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