I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
