I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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