I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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