I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
