Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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