You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
A+ Viking dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
