look no pants
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize