It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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