Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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