theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
