Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
