I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
