toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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