me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize