He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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