If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
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Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
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I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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