I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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