I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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