When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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