return my video game
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
