I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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