I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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