i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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