I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
