Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize