super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
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