I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
