See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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