I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
