they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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