You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
