i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
