I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He felt like a one man threesome
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize