I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
