Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
