It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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