You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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