Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
