Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
