whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
