I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
