stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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