Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
