Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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