a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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