plz talk dirty to me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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