hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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