Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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