ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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