If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
either way he was missing a nipple.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
