Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
