I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
