watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
