Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
