why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
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She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We're too hungover to prance.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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