Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
